He simply sauntered into my office, oblivious to the fact that I was in a meeting or perhaps he was not going to let that stop him from doing what he had every intention of doing anyway.

“I understand you collect rocks.” He says

“It comes with the territory and passion for Geotechnical Engineering.” I reply sarcastically.

“Here’s another one for your collection, it’s platinum.”

“Thank you, anything else I can help you with?”

That was the day I met the man I would marry, and little did I know at the time, but the ‘rock’ he gave me could have gotten me ten to twenty in prison. He was rather forward, and I was rather obnoxious telling my best friend Sandy: “But he is just a mechanic.” She politely told me in no uncertain terms to get over myself and just go on a date with the man, because that was what he was first, mechanic was just a profession.

So, I went on the date. Six months later we were engaged and six months after that we got married on the beach in the Transkei where my Dad had spent his last few days on this earth. We introduced this glorious place to our friends and his family and in the process, it took on a whole new meaning in my head. It went from being a place where something tragic and heart breaking happened to where something wonderful and truly magical occurred.

And that really ties into the whole Mills and Boon romancing of the event with the fairy tale ending we all so desperately desire. Reality had different plans for us though. We got married on the 6th of January 2018 and what a journey it has been so far. We have had our fights, our good days, and days where I have cried so hard. There have even been times when I have questioned - did I do the right thing marrying this man and if not, how easy would it be to just leave? This man who has shown me nothing but unconditional love, patience, and a willingness to learn and grow with me. He supports me financially and emotionally as I journey this roller coaster of self-discovery and transformation.

Was it not for this man, would I have found the courage to let go of the version of me I held so close to my heart? The strength to become the version of me I am supposed to be right now. I do not know. Because this kind of questioning for me is an “if only” line of questioning, containing a wistfulness for something imagined which is always so much grander that what is.

What I do know for certain, meeting and falling in love with him has allowed me to give myself permission to fall in love with me and that is pure magic.

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